Waking Up Angry

Sunday morning I woke up mad.  No… angry.  From my first conscious thought, I was burning white hot with anger… and I didn’t know why!

I tried to begin my Sunday morning routine of praying for pastor friends, but couldn’t because my anger toward them flamed hot… and I couldn’t figure out why!

Every thought became full of rage and animosity.  It didn’t matter if I thought of my family… people I knew from years past… or people I know now.  Truth be told my emotions pushed close to hatred… and I couldn’t discern why I woke up with such in my heart!  I had not experienced that much hostility many many years.  After about an hour of fighting it, I asked a few people to pray for me because I knew one thing… I could not get up in front of God’s people and proclaim His Word with anger in my heart!  Anger and preaching don’t mix.

Eventually I did the only thing I could do… I turned to God… in the Psalms… in particular Psalm 42… beginning in verse 5…

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation  6 and my God.  My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember You… 8 By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. 9 I say to God, my rock: “Why have you forgotten me?  Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?” 10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me,  while they say to me continually, “Where is your God?” 11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

It is over now, but yesterday scared me in that my emotions could spiral so out of control so quickly.  That I could think such things spontaneously without any discernible reason!  What is written in Jer 17:9 is indeed true of all of us, “The heart is wicked above all things and no man can know it.”  For reasons I’m still working through, I identify better today with Romans 7:14…

I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

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7 comments on “Waking Up Angry

  1. Mark Fowler says:

    Wow. Very timely as always. God is good. Thanks Ron.

  2. darrin says:

    love you ron, we are saved not perfect but one day we will perfectly saved

  3. E.M. says:

    I had one of those days today. However, mine started up in the day. Nothing went right from the get go and I was selfish and wanted things to go as I had planned. I was just angry at everything. Reading your article has helped so much because I have so much to be thankful for.

    You don’t know how much you minister to me. Your Dad would be proud.

  4. Tom says:

    Thank you! I needed that. Woke up this morning angrier at God than I have ever been…I wanted to stop learning, and turn back. It was driving me crazy. I felt utterly abandoned. After reading your post today, it has calmed me and has helped me to understand I am not alone, and that this happens. Again, thank you!

    • Pastor Ron says:

      Ahhh.. but please understand that I was never angry toward God! Please know that is NOT what this post was about by any stretch of the imagination. Personally… I may have questioned WHAT God was allowing, but never once did I have anger toward God in any way.

  5. Tom says:

    Your headline read Waking Up Angry. I was angry when I awoke. That has never happened to me before. I usually wake up already in the middle of a prayer. But not today.

    I didn’t (still don’t) know what is going on, but the level of resentment (for this rage) is drowning me. I have faith that He is doing a work in me. It couldn’t be anything else, since I am not an angry person by nature and no event in my life is causing me stress.

    He has been showing me my sexual lust since July 2011. I have only failed once at controlling it, about a month ago; but usually am walking in the Spirit, as I was yesterday. My mind is so angry. It feels like my flesh (vs spirit) is screaming out.

    Is this something you have experience with, either with yourself or counseling others?

    • Pastor Ron says:

      To answer the last line in your reply… this may sound simplistic, but such is the Gospel. The thing to note in each is the motivation for doing them!

      1. Read Scripture for the purposes of knowing God and encountering Him…

      2. Worship (Privately and corporately) for the purpose of knowning God and encountering Him…

      3. Confess sin… because it is a barrier to knowing God and being more like Christ…

      4. Pray asking God to make you more like Christ according to 1 Cor 13 and Gal 5:25 ff…

      5. Flee sin (Whatever it may be) because it has become an idol keeping you from God.

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