Pastor’s Pastor?

Too many pastors don’t have a pastor. Everyone else in the church does, but many times pastors suffer silently and alone.

For the last several weeks I have been seeking out hurting and wounded pastors (Thus the previous posts: Click 1, Click 2, Click 3). In just a few weeks I have heard a number of pastors tell me their stories of heartbreak, disappointment, and difficulty while trying to shepherd God’s people faithfully. Along with these men I have talked with several Baptist Directors of Missions with each of them telling me about the churches under their care that have struggles and difficulties.

I’m of the opinion that there are many pastors and churches that are struggling. I believe the significance of these difficulties are hindering Kingdom work because pastors, staff, and churches are trying to function in unhealthy situations. But all of that is for another time, this blog is for different purpose.

If God allows, I will search out diligently pastors and other ministers who are wounded and hurting. Men and women who try to do their best to honor God in vocational ministry but find themselves under attack… struggling to be faithful… and feel like giving up. I want to find these faithful servants, come along side them, and encourage them in every way I can (2 Tim 1:16-17; 2 Cor 1:3-5). I’m calling what I am attempting Redemption Ministry.

Only other pastors know how difficult it is to be an undershepherd to God’s people (Paul’s hardest difficulty!). I want to go to my brothers in ministry who are hurting. I want to listen to their struggles and encourage them (Regardless of the reason for their struggle!). I want to come along side them… give them practical resources to help them… and walk with them through dark times into times of refreshing (If God so wills). I would like to be like this man was to Paul (2 Tim 1:16-17)…

May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, 17 but when he arrived in Rome he searched for me earnestly and found me…

I’ve seen good and bad times… blessing and hardship… victories and failure. I have walked where most struggling minister are and can help them (God willing) to not give up hope. My personal prayer request is for God to make the connections for this ministry.

Suggestion: Encourage your pastor every chance you get because they are “keeping watch over your soul as those who will give an account” (Heb 13:17-b).

Pastor’s Wounded Hearts

Statistics show the following about ministers and pastors…

Five years after graduating seminary, 80% will have left the ministry (Barna)…

Nation wide, 1,600 ministers are forced to resign every month (MTM)…

In the Southern Baptist Convention over 1,000 pastors are reported as being forced to resign each year, 45%+ don’t return to vocational ministry…

Leadership Magazine reports that 22.8% of all ministers will be forced out before their careers end. 67% of those affected will face forced termination more than once.

After reading those over the past two weeks, I wondered what is behind those statistics. WHY are they? I came up with several possibilities:

1. Maybe the seminarians figured out they were NOT called to ministry and they needed to find another vocation. That is a good thing.

2. Maybe the church was dysfunctional and/or perpetually conflicted. Being forced out was predictable. Note: I served one congregation where 5 of 7 pastors prior to me were forcibly terminated. All the churches I’ve served terminated previous pastors with several splitting as a result.

3. We live in a broken world where sin is rampant. This includes the membership… leadership teams… and ministers.

My answer: A passion for loving one another (John 13:35)… forgiveness (Eph 4:32)… restoration (Gal 6:1)… and reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18) has been lost in many churches. Along with this is loss of church discipline for the purpose of RESTORATION. This is true of members and staff too often.

Interestingly, many churches abhor the idea of church discipline, but will force a pastor/minister to leave the church without just cause or due process. In my little rose colored world I can’t help but wonder why in church… of all places… there is not more forgiveness, grace, mercy, compassion, reconcliation, and restoration? As one man told me at the last church I served, “I’m all about forgiving, BUT…” with that last word he invalidated the preceding statement which seems to happen often in church.

Brothers, these things ought not be! (James 3:10)

How To Fire A Pastor

I’ve had occasion over the last few months to engage a number of hurting and wounded pastors… which is probably no surprise if you’ve been reading my blog recently. I am grieved by how many have been deeply wounded by people who attend church!

I delivered a message while I was an interim pastor titled, “How To Fire The Pastor” which you can read HERE. I add a few more points of practical nature for consideration…

#1. Take Hebrews 13:17 seriously (Meditate on it) and don’t rebel against God’s Word at this point. “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

#2. If you are at odds with your pastor for any reason, the first thing you should do is to pray FOR him… not prey ON him (Get it?). Pastors are not perfect. They need the prayer support of God’s people. Take the approach found in Ro 12:18, “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, be at peace with (Your pastor).”

#3. If you find it necessary to talk to your pastor about your disagreement, consider THIS as the way to do it (CLICK HERE!).

#4. If you do not find resolution, take God at His Word as found in Romans 12:19, “Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Do not take an active role in running the minister off (Heb 13:17 A & C), but rather pray watching for how God will handle it.

#5. Do not gossip or defame the pastor remembering the way you treat others is the way you treat Jesus… ” (Mt 25:45 & Lk 9:48).

#6. Treat your pastor the way YOU would want to be treated according to The Golden Rule (Lk 6:31).

#7. Consider these passages…

Jn 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

1 Thess 5:12 Respect those who labor among you & are over you in the Lord & admonish you, 13 & to esteem them very highly in love because of their work.

1 Tim 5:17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

1 Chron 16:22 Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm!

If you are presently at odds with your pastor and wish he’d leave the church, you either: 1) Didn’t finish reading this post, OR 2) Are arguing against it passionately. That’s fine… take it to God in prayer. Ask Him to work both in your pastor AND in your own heart.

Fire The Pastor? Think First

Below are seven things Joe McKeever suggests churches consider before asking a pastor to resign.  Click here to read the entire article which is full of practical wisdom.

1. Are you doing this in obedience to Christ… or is this just something you want done?

2. Are you willing to stand before the Lord at judgment and take full responsibility for doing this?

3. Have you brought in outside counsel? (More than one person)

4. Has the pastor been able to present his side of the matter before a responsible, non-judgmental group?

5. Have you checked your church’s constitution and by-laws to make sure you are doing things right? NOTE: I would add, have you searched the Scriptures to honor God in the process? A good start is The Golden Rule. RE

6. Have you rushed into this?

7. Are you willing to tell the full story to the next pastor you consider bringing in?

His concluding comment: So, church leader, think this thing through. What kind of church do you want yours to become?

Having served several churches that fired the pastor prior to me, I understand Mr. McKeever’s thoughts. I’ve had men who were part of forcing a pastor to resign that deeply regretted their conduct later. Oh if we all would take more time to search the Scriptures and pray for God’s direction before we act we’d all be much better off and the church would not get a black eye in the world.

My purpose in posting this is that hopefully some may read Mr. McKeever’s article while considering seriously his points.

Your Purpose In Life

Acts 13:36 David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers… (Follow up from yesterday’s post).

There is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is from what happens TO us. Joy is what is in us. Happiness and joy can either be from the world or from God. If from the world it leaves us empty. When from God it is lasting and eternal. Consider the words of Jesus before contemplating Acts 13:36…

Jn 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

Jn 17:13 But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves.

Jn 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Jesus’ joy is first, from Him. Second, it is different from the world. Third, it is not based on the world’s template by rather His template… which leads us to Acts 13.

True, full, lasting, complete, and fulfilling joy/happiness is found when we willingly desire and carry out God’s purpose for us on this earth. To do anything else is idolatry. Paul understood this when he left his agenda in life (Killing Christians to destroy Christianity) and carried out God’s call (Spreading the Gospel to the Gentiles through suffering and death).

Once David had fulfilled God’s purpose for his life… he died. Once Paul finished God’s purpose for his life… he died. Once Jesus fulfilled God’s purpose for HIS life… He died (“It is finished…”). And once we carry out God’s purpose for our life… we will also die. So the question remains… WHAT IS GOD’S PURPOSE?

The big picture answer is, to glorify Him (1 Cor 10:31). How that works out specifically is different for us all. As I read the Scripture, God is moving us along to accomplish His will (Is 46:9-10; Eph 1:11… “Who works all things according to His counsel…”). In other words, our purpose is to glorify God AS He works and moves us through our life. For I believe, each believer IS standing in God’s will… held in His hand according to Romans 8:28-29 and Ephesians 1:11.

Happiness And Your Heart’s Desire…

Happiness is having what we want. THE primary motivation for everything we do is happiness, YET…

No one alive is wise enough to know what is best for them (Jer 17:9), in fact… We never imagine that getting our heart’s deepest desires might be the worst thing that can ever happen to us (Tim Keller). And yet we are consumed with getting what our heart desires, which is 99% of the time selfish to the point of hurting, attacking, and maiming those around us (Ja 4:2-4).

We are so self consumed that we pervert Psalm 37:4 to say God wants to give us what WE want. We are so focused on our own heart we even try to make our desires sound godly in hopes of tricking God somehow using Ps 84:11, Mt 6:33, and Ro 8:31-33 as our arguments. So we preach, teach Sunday School, go into ministry, tithe, go to church, and 10,000 other things thinking God will award us for good behavior.

Just one problem… that philosophy is not only wrong, it is heretical and un-Biblical! The message of the prosperity gospel is wrong.

Consider what is taught in the Scripture…

The first step is radical generosity, giving all we have to others for their good and not accumulating things for ourselves (Mt 5:42; Mk 10:21). This includes our life, freedom, and possessions (Lk 9:23; Heb 10:34). And doing so for God’s glory (1 Cor 10:31).

Then we adjust our heart to be in line with God’s will for us rather than our own. Our “good” in Romans 8:28 is conformity to Christ of Romans 8:29. Instead of coveting things of this life (1 Jn 2:15), we are to hunger and thirst for righteousness (Mt 5:6) which is conformity to Christ. Making us more like Christ (Which is our ultimate good) is not left to chance because God’s Spirit intercedes for us at that point (Ro 8:27). And so when we pray we are confident that God will help us (Heb 4:16) as we pray these things according to God’s will (1 Jn 5:14).

As a result of the last two paragraphs, God eliminates our anxiety and grants His peace. THIS guards and protects us in Christ (Phil 4:6-7). When our heart is set on Jesus and heaven, THEN Psalm 37:4 is fulfilled.

So We’ve Arrived?

What do you believe today that you did not believe 10 or 20 years ago? At one time everyone KNEW the earth was flat. At one time everyone KNEW the earth was the center of the universe. What do you KNOW today? Now, for contemplation…

Do we think somehow we have arrived today, that the popular opinions and values of our time are not going to look just as ridiculous in 100 years or so (As those from 100 years ago look to us)? Who can tell us what is right, what is noble, and what is good? The answer is nobody, unless there is somebody outside of us and above us and outside of time who can come and tell us what is good and noble and true.

I have a family member who once believed… because their pastor preached it… that a certain race of people could not be saved because of “The Curse of Ham.” Today I hear that and think… “God love ‘em. They just missed it on that one!” But then I wonder… what will my great-grandchildren look at about my beliefs and say… “God love Pops… He loved Jesus but missed it on that one!”

Only the person who trusts The One who is outside us and rightly contradicts us will ever find and embrace genuine truth. Just because a majority of people today believe something is just (For example: Same-sex marriage or abortion) does not mean it is right. And just because we ourselves believe something to be true does not mean it IS true.

It boils down to this. Truth is not a philosophy or idea, ultimate truth is a person… Jesus Christ who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man goes to The Father but by Me…” (John 14:6).

When You Struggle, Remember…

1 Peter 2:19-25… (READ S-L-O-W-L-Y)

(It) is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is it if, when you sin & are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good & suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in His mouth. 23 When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to Him who judges justly. 24 He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin & live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd & Overseer of your souls.

Tell Me Something GOOD!

9 times of 10 when someone calls their pastor it is with a problem of some kind… OR a complaint… OR a criticism. Rarely do pastors get a phone call or visit designed to encourage and build him up. It’s not often someone drops by his office just to encourage him with no other agenda in mind. One pastor I know begins many conversations with a phrase by Chaka Kahn, “Tell me something good!”

Don’t be one of those people that when your pastor sees you he thinks to himself, “I wonder what gripe or complaint I’ll hear THIS time?” Be one of those people he likes to see coming… and smile!

Remember Ephesians 4:29 next time you see your pastor and “Tell (him) something GOOD!”

I know… that song is in your head now isn’t it?

REVENGE!!!!

When we are hurt by others, it is natural to desire revenge on some level. We want them to hurt for hurting us. For equity’s sake this is the reason God instituted an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. Our nature is not equity, but escalation… a head for an eye, an arm for a tooth.

Jesus took it further though. He commanded we pray for and love our enemies (Mt 5:44).  Paul wrote we are to bless and feed our enemies (Ro 12:14, 20). What is prohibited is revenge… which can take on many forms. Revenge can be:

Secretly wishing for evil to befall a person… and being happy if it happens…

Ignoring them or giving a harsh look when in their presence…

Saying things designed to hurt, tear down, or generally not build them up (Eph 4:29)…

Giving a bad report about them to others…

Doing anything that harms them or their family in any way.

Those things cause problems! As I heard one time, “Anger, bitterness, and revenge are the poisons we drink hoping others will die.” Then there is another truth I recently read, “When you try to get payment through revenge the evil does not disappear. Instead, it spreads… most tragically of all into you.” How true! At this point the Golden Rule is worth remembering: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Here are three things that will keep us from seeking/desiring revenge: 1) Loving the one who has hurt us, 2) Trusting God to make everything right, 3) Praying for the good of the other person.

Harboring anger and/or seeking revenge is devastating… to us! Let it go and trust the perfect righteous Judge to make everything right.

Can Dying Churches Find Life?

This is from Thom Rainer and addresses churches in decline and if they can be “resurrected.” His assessment of it happening are 1 in 1,000 (But it does happen!). Here is part of what he wrote regarding what it takes for a church to be “turned around.”

• A leader must rise and be willing to lead the church toward radical transformation regardless of the personal costs to him. That leader is typically a new pastor in the church, but it does not have to be.
• A significant group in the church must admit that they are desperate for help. The significance of the group could be their sheer size; for example, they could be a majority of active members. Or the significance could be the influence of those in the group rather than the number. This group must lead the church from denial to a painful awakening to reality.
• That same group must confess guilt. They failed to reach the community. They held on to the idolatry of yesterday. They were only comfortable with “our kind of people.” They saw the church to be a place where their needs were met and personal preferences catered.
• The group must have an utter, desperate, and prayerful dependence on God. They can no longer look at the way they’ve always done it as the path for the future. They must fall on their faces before God and seek His way and only His way.
• The church must be willing to storm the community with love. The church can’t assuage their guilt by having a food and clothes pantry where community residents come to them once a week. Members must go into the community, love the unlovable, reach out to the untouchable, and give sacrificially of time, money, and heart. The community must be amazed by these church members.
• The church must relinquish control. If the church reaches the community, the community will come to the church. They may be poorer. They may have different colors of skin. They may speak differently. They may have a radically different culture than members of the church. If the church is truly to reach the community, it must be joyfully willing to let the community have control of the church. This attitude is radically different than welcoming the outsiders to “our church.” It is an attitude that says it is now “your church.”

Most readers likely understand the low likelihood of such a transformation taking place. It is so rare that, when it happens, it is often given the name “miracle.”

Why Do So Many Snap?

Recently I read an article by David Kupelian about the increasing number of people who are “snapping” as a result of stress (CLICK HERE to read it). Consider a few quotes below…

Suicide has surpassed car crashes as the leading  cause of injury death for Americans. Even more disturbing, in the world’s  greatest military, more U.S. soldiers died  last year by suicide than in combat. One-third of the nation’s employees  suffer chronic debilitating stress, and more than half of all “millennials” (18 to 33 year olds) experience a level of stress  that keeps them awake at night, including large numbers diagnosed with  depression or anxiety disorder. 11 percent of all Americans aged 12 and older are currently taking SSRI  antidepressants – those highly controversial, mood-altering psychiatric drugs  with the FDA’s “suicidality” warning label and alarming  correlation with school shooters.

“Life is difficult,” wrote psychiatrist M. Scott Peck at the outset of his  international best-seller, “The Road Less Traveled.” Stress, difficulties,  disappointments, accidents, disease, misfortune, cruelty, betrayal – they’re  unavoidable in this life.

Yet, during eras when society and families are stable, unified and  fundamentally decent and moral (Emphasis mine. RE) – as, say, America during the 1950s – the stress  level for each person is minimized, or at least not compounded by a perverse  society. Conversely, when… we have widespread family  breakdown, a depraved culture that mocks traditional moral values, a chaotic  economy and disintegrating monetary system and a power-mad government dominated  by demagogues and sociopaths, the normal stresses of life are greatly  multiplied.

Thus it has come to pass that America, long the hope of the world, has grown  increasingly dispirited and angry, which in turn breeds anxiety, fear,  confusion, hopelessness and depression.

And thus one writer’s evaluation of why so many people are angry in America and prone to snap. So could it be there is a correlation between broken homes… absent fathers… destruction of the family unit through same-sex marriage and the killing of millions of unborn babies and the anger of so many who snap? Yes, there is a direct link between a nation that turns away from God that always results in societal chaos of every kind. Why? Paul writes this in Romans 1:18 ff… (Vss 28-32 describe America’s “Snapping”).

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness & unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 21 Although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, & their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man & birds & animals & reptiles. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie & worshiped & served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

What Brokenness Looks Like

“God doesn’t use anyone He doesn’t first break” (Chuck Swindoll). Most seasoned maturing Christians will agree. Here’s the way it sounds from Paul as written in 2 Tim 3:12, “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”

All? Yes. Every single one? Yes. Persecution is one way we are broken. And many times GOD is the active One in breaking (Discipline) us.  Consider Hebrews 12:5…

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, Nor faint when you are reproved by Him; 6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives.” 8 if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children & not sons. 10 He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. 11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

When God disciplines His children, it is for a good reason… “to share in His holiness.” God goes after our idols that we cling to tightly. He rips them from our hands and heart so that we rely completely on Him alone. If that means He sheds our blood to do it, it will happen. If it causes us weeping, He will do it. All because He is making sure we are conformed to the image of Christ.

What does brokenness look like? Here it is in one word… humility. When a person has been broken, they are not arrogant. They are quick to forgive… they are long suffering with others… they are merciful and gracious. They don’t keep record of wrongs but seek restoration and reconciliation with everyone. They don’t hold grudges or slander others or demand their way.  They aren’t angry or accusing of others. And above all they are unconditionally loving. Oh… one last element… the person will grow in humility. If a person isn’t characterized by those traits, they have not experienced brokenness… completely… yet.

The fruit brokenness produces is ultimately peaceful.

The War YOU Wage

Growing in Christ is not about how many books you read and discuss… how many conferences you attend… how many times you read through the Bible… how many people you feed, clothe, or 1,000 other things Christians engage in. Before ANY of those things captivate our heart, first we must be holy… conformed to the image of Christ… seeking first the Kingdom of God.

That means doing battle… waging war… fighting the good fight about which Christ prayed.

Here is what being conformed to the image of Christ looks like:

Forgiving those who hate you…

Loving those who abuse you…

Turning the other cheek when people insult you…

Giving aid and help to your enemies…

Killing the sin residing in your heart of: Bitterness, anger, hatred, jealousy, lust, covetousness, unforgiveness…

And those things are just the beginning. THE most important thing Christians must seek is to be conformed to the image of Christ. How?

First… Plead before God’s throne for His help,

Second… Confess your unwillingness to be conformed to Christ to God,

Third… Make conscious decisions not to fulfill the desires of your sin sick heart,

Last… Regularly ask God to fill you with His Spirit and make you into the person He wants you to be.

Nitty Gritty Pastor/Church Relations

Every year in the Southern Baptist Convention 1,000+ pastors are terminated (Those are the ones reported). Of that number, 45% do not return to vocational ministry. Then there are many churches that fight, then split… and split… and split. People get their feelings hurt, leave that church for another one or quit going to church at all. All that should grieve our hearts!

The Chairman of a Pastor Search Team once told me, “I’ve come to the conclusion there isn’t a church anywhere that doesn’t have problems!” A denominational worker recently said, “Every pastor in every church has problems.” Both times deep in my soul I thought, “And it shouldn’t be that way!”  Sadly, my personal experience is that both men were more right than I’d like to admit.

I suggest Christians are not having a more positive impact nationally because they have abandoned John 13:35, “All people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” It is rare Christians live out Eph 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

After reflecting on 23 years of serving as pastor, I’ve come to a few conclusions for the future if God so allows:

If there’s a disagreement of any kind with anyone, no one leaves. Work through it from an attitude of love, grace, mercy, and compassion (Ro 12:18),

Do NOT let situations fester. As soon as they are known, address them!

Always have restoration as the unwavering goal in all disagreements (Gal 6:1-2),

Operate from the perspective of love, humility, and forgiveness regardless of the situation (1 Cor 13:4-8A),

Ignore ALL gossip. Only believe what a person actually tells you themselves,

Refuse to let anyone be anonymous with accusations (“Some people told me,” or “Someone told me in confidence,” or “I can’t say who said this, BUT…”). If our criminal justice system allows the accused to confront his accusers, shouldn’t the church at least do the same?

Finally, if people refuse to work toward reconciliation, forgiveness, and restoration… as an absolute last resort follow Titus 3:10-11, Romans 16:17, 2 Thess 3:14-15.

Written from boots on the ground…